


hell and heaven

by grellspears, sickening_grelle, sweetsindle



Series: Scenes from Hell and Heaven [1]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Budding Love, Canon Rewrite, Crush at First Sight, Crushes, Dadthello, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Dynamics, Father-Son Relationship, Fatherhood, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Heavy Angst, I'm writing this in fic form but everyone else listed wrote their parts, Mother-Son Relationship, Multi, Parenthood, Past Lives, Platonic Cuddling, Post-Betrayal, Suicide, Therapy, Time Travel, Updated as it goes!!!, based off a roleplay, luv u all skjfhdskjdsa, reaper au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:28:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24068122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grellspears/pseuds/grellspears, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sickening_grelle/pseuds/sickening_grelle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetsindle/pseuds/sweetsindle
Summary: ʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ...ɪᴛ ʜᴜʀᴛ ᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏᴏ ʙᴀᴅʟʏ.ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ᴏʀᴅᴇᴀʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜɪꜱ ᴏʟᴅᴇʀ ᴛᴡɪɴ ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡʜᴏ ʜᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ, ᴀꜱᴛᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴀɴʏ ʜᴀᴅ ʙᴇᴇɴ ʜᴏʟᴇᴅ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʟᴀᴜ, ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴘʟᴀɴꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴠᴇʀᴛʜʀᴏᴡ /ɴᴏᴡ/ ᴇᴀʀʟ ᴄɪᴇʟ ᴘʜᴀɴᴛᴏᴍʜɪᴠᴇ. ɪɴꜱᴜʟᴛꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜʀᴇᴀᴛꜱ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴛʜʀᴏᴡɴ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʀɪɢʜᴛ, ᴀɴᴅ ʀɪᴅᴅʟᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɢᴜɪʟᴛ, ᴀꜱᴛᴇʀ ꜰɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴅꜱ ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ...ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ʜᴇ'ᴅ ᴇɴᴅ ᴜᴘ ɪꜰ ʜᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴄᴏᴍᴍɪᴛᴛᴇᴅ ꜱᴜᴄʜ ᴀɴ ᴀᴄᴛ.
Relationships: Ciel Phantomhive & Othello, Ciel Phantomhive/OC, Othello/Mey-Rin
Series: Scenes from Hell and Heaven [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1748728
Comments: 15
Kudos: 15





	1. hell has a name

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a new RP I'm doing with my friends! - A special thanks to all of them!!! (I'm Aster btw sdhfkjshjdsa no surprise there)
> 
> \- Autumn = Othello (https://sickeninggrelle.tumblr.com/)  
> \- Lexie = Mey-Rin (https://paradoxpseudonym.tumblr.com/)  
> \- Lenee = Ella (https://lovecoreciel.tumblr.com/)  
> \- Grelle = Grelle (https://grellsutcliffs.tumblr.com/)

By all accounts, my last few years on earth were supposed to end perfectly.

I was going to come back as Ciel, claim my role as that as the Earl of Phantomhive, as well as the infamous Queen's Watchdog, and prove everyone wrong.

**I was going to prove everyone wrong.**

No matter what, I was going to show them that I, Aster Orion Phantomhive, was competent and outstanding as Watchdog and Earl, in both my Father's and elder brother's steads...despite me keeping it a secret that it was ever even me, to begin with, that came back almost four years ago.

And for a while...it seemed like everything would be alright. With a demon clad in black by my side as my pawn, and as my executioner, I'd be completely unstoppable.

I'd have everything and anything my brother and I had ever wanted. I'd be a little brother that Ciel could be proud of, and be graceful and cunning - and not to mention all sorts of smart as my role in what would have been his position. I'd be the sweet, caring, toy shop owner in London, that despite all his hardships, gained back everything he had once thought had been almost impossible to achieve.

I'd make everyone happy, too.

They wouldn't have to deal with me, the pathetic, weak, younger son. _No, no._ They'd have who they truly always wanted and deserved - Ciel, the strong, older son.

They could all be happy. They could all be proud. And I could die knowing that I made them so, despite me never having the spot lite....despite how much it _ached._

Everything I did, I did for everyone else. I did it for Papa. I did it for Mama. I did it for Ciel. I did it for Lizzie. I did it for everyone's happiness.

....But at what expense? _**My own?**_

I didn't want to admit it, but after the years I lived as Ciel, I grew to despise him. I can't even possibly describe just....how much bloody _hatred_ I had for my brother. My own brother.

My own flesh and blood.

My protector.

My best friend.

I had never wanted to hate him. Never in my life had I ever once thought that I could ever hate my brother.

I loved him more than I could ever, ever express. I did everything for him, didn't I? That's why I was still alive, was it not? I would have never been able to come back if I were me.

The weak, pathetic son. Little, stupid Aster.

No one would ever love him like they loved Ciel. The demon told me so. No one.

If I were to ever try to become **him** again - _Aster_ , I'd fail. I wouldn't be strong or brave enough to go through with what I had to. Every time I almost became him again, the demon always reminded me...no, _taunted_ me.

_"What are you doing, little Master of mine? You know the boy inside would never survive in a cruel world, such as this. He'd crumble. There's no room for such weakness in the game we're playing. The game you started. At the price of the brother who's name you took."_ He had told me, thousands and thousands of times. I didn't blame him. No, not at all.

After all, the demon had been right. Who was I, without the name of Ciel Phantomhive?

**Nothing.**

I was just little Aster, scared and sweet, trapped in a cage, sobbing and screaming to be let free by some foolish, hopeful act of God. None of that mattered, though. That mad man, my supposed very own grandfather, Undertaker, brought Ciel back only a few weeks ago. Ever since then, my facade crumbled like dust.

Everyone knew who I was. Who was I? Stupid little Aster. The weak, pathetic, younger son. A liar, in the words of my ex-fiancee, Lizzie. - No, Elizabeth. I don't deserve to call her that. I lied to everyone, and now everyone knew.

I was in big, big trouble. For the first time in four years, everything was stripped away from me. Every little and big thing I have ever earned or gained was snatched away, all thanks to Ciel.

He came back and ruined my life once again.

He had stolen my happiness again.

No matter what I, pathetic, stupid, little Aster did, Ciel always won. Nothing I did was ever truly mine. The Earldom wasn't mine. Neither was the Watchdog role. Nor Funtom.

Nothing was mine. All was Ciel's.

Everyone hated me. No one loved me. I wasn't surprised. I didn't deserve happiness, anyways. Not after what the demon did to Ciel. I'm horrible. I don't deserve anything. The devil and I ran away with the servants, supposedly where it was safe...where I could get back at Ciel, and hurt those who wronged both my family and me. But once by one, piece by piece....just as my once "perfect" life had fallen apart, so did those hopes.

I started to become Aster again, despite me claiming that I was always Ciel. The demon could see this. He hated this. He pulled me aside and screamed, telling me how pathetic I was. He was ashamed to have me as his Master.

After all, who would ever want a master such as I?

Who would want a brother such as I?

Who would want a friend such as I?

I couldn't take the hurt anymore. I had already spent nights crying into my pillow about my burning brokenness, but this was different. I spent night after night, sobbing quietly into my pillow after I had been able to go to bed for the night, after discussing our next course of action with Lau.

The hurt I felt was agonizing. Dizzying. Unbearable.

After losing my life, family, and friends once again...I couldn't do this anymore. I didn't want to be without the people I loved, despite me constantly pushing them away. I was a liar, after all. I loved everyone with all my heart. I'd do anything to turn back the clock and tell Soma how much I loved him and appreciated how desperately he tried to be my friend, as well as my brother. I wanted to save him the pain of losing Agni and give him back.

I wanted to go back to Sieglinde, and thank her for all she's done. I wanted her to be my friend. I wanted to have a picnic with her in the back garden. No matter how lewd her jokes, I wanted to laugh at them, with her.

I wanted to go back to Lizzie and tell her the truth. I yearned to give her the happiness that she rightfully deserved. I wanted her to know that I really, honestly, loved her, despite it looking like I was lying...

I wanted to go back to the servants and tell them just how much they meant to me. They were my family, and I'd do anything to keep them safe and happy. Even though I was weak, I always wanted to protect them. Just like me, they went through hell...they deserved to be happy.

I picked my head up from my pillow, face covered in salty tears. I looked out to the window, watching the sky as rain poured down like the Niagara Falls. If I did it, no one would even know that I was gone.

**It would be alright.**

If I was gone, then everyone could be happy again. I got on two feet, shaking like a leaf in a storm as I reached behind my pillow, and retracted my gun - the one that I had since returning back to the manor.

Never had I thought that I'd ever use it on myself. I took a few unsteady steps to the window, collapsing to the floor as I stared at the raindrops streaming down the window, watching the banners outside the shook wildly in the wind. Now was the time to do it, if I was going to.

Staring at the gun, I ran my fingers over the trigger and took a deep breath before taking ahold of it, and aiming it at the side of my head, nestled in my ashy-blue hair. "Please....be happy now...I'm so sorry...I love you all so much."

I was gone before I could even comprehend what I had done.


	2. his first day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Aster's first day in his student internship with his new mentor, Othello, someone he readily recognizes the second he lays on him...and almost immediately grows a familial attachment for the older reaper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweetsinidle, here! I had to re-write the replies in order for them to flow better, and transition into an actual chapter. I'm doing all the 're-writing' for the fic version, as well as adding on a few things, but all the replies that aren't Aster, are not me! - I am simply re-writing them a bit so, again, they can flow better for a fic.
> 
> Othello is written by sickening_grelle, and any editing is done by her as she sees fit! (Side note, I'd literally DIE for her ver of Othello - like, please, let me give him the BIGGEST hug I stan him so much omg kxjzhfkjshsdsda)
> 
> Also fun fact, the reason why this update took me forever and a half is because it's literally almost ten thousand words

Aster didn't know where he was when he woke up. He had forgotten that he even would. 

Every second was like a blur, and he could barely even remember his first few days as a reaper. In fact, he could scarcely also remember anything at all up to that point. 

He was going into forensics, the new reaper had decided, upon receiving the papers in the recovery wing at the London Branch Reaper Hospital. It sounded interesting enough. Better than reaping souls, the child supposed. After seeing Grelle Sutcliff, William T. Spears, and the like on the job, he was immediately turned off. 

It would be way, way too painful for him to ever even think of handling. In his heart, he knew he could never do it. So forensics, here he came! (sarcastically, of course)

The child had spectacles and a death scythe now. _'Nerd glasses,'_ another reaper had told him - whatever that meant - as for his scythe, an ax. Initially, he thought that it would be a little bit too heavy to even carry, let alone use, but somehow, it hadn't? 

Aster sighed softly, he palms damp as he waited for the lady at the desk to bring him to his mentor. Never in his life had he been so bloody terrified.

He had no idea who they were, but he had been assured that they were one of the best in the field - and were ESCASTIC (apparently) to have a student. 

"Aster...Phantomhive? That's you, right, kid?" The woman asked, raising a glossy-brown eyebrow at him, adjusting her stark-black cat-eye spectacles. 

The boy nodded, nervously holding his hands to his sides as he got up from one of the many sleek black chairs in the waiting area. She groaned, clearly agitated as she waved, signaling for him to follow her. With a stack of paperwork in her hands, the older reaper led, the younger down a hallway...and then... And another, and another, until they finally got to a room at the end of one seemingly-endless hall. 

Sucking in her teeth, she threw open the door - and hastily, practically shoving Aster inside, so hard that he almost fell on his face but thankfully being caught by the reaper that had been patiently standing behind the door nearly all day in anticipation. 

"Othello," The lady started, giving the green-haired reaper a look. "Here's you're kid. Have fun." She said dryly, throwing the papers she had been carrying onto the nearby desk, causing them to scatter before turning a heel and slamming the door shut, stomping away. 

The older reaper, Othello Huang, stared blankly at the door in shock as he cradled his student in his arms - the poor kid. Poor, poor kid. He looked absolutely terrified. And who could blame him? 

"Heh, I'm sorry...she's a mean old lady, eh?" He said, as a sort of rhetorical question, helping the boy to his feet only a second later. 

Looking at the man before him, Othello was a lean, shorter man, with dark, fluffy, forest-green hair. He donned the clothes from when his big brother, Ciel, and his blasted grandfather had come back. He looked quite disheveled, but the small reaper supposed it didn't quite matter...considering all the achievements he had, according to all the other reapers he had bumped into. 

The man's lab was HUGE. Lit with bright, fluorescent lights. There were different stations used for various, different reasons as well, and placed on top of them were strange-looking machines, flasks, bottles, trinkets of all kinds - you name it! It wasn't the neatest lab, no, not by a long shot, but you could tell it worked rather well for Othello. 

"Well, um...welcome!" The reaper said, awkwardly, taking a second to do a bit of jazz hands to alleviate? Some of the tenseity in the room. "I'm sure you know my name, talking to Stacie and everyone else already, plus the packet you got earlier this month - but you can call me Othello. I'll be your trainer, mentor - whatever the higher-ups call it."

It was apparent he was a bit nervous...Othello didn't have very many trainees, so understandably, the scientist was somewhat anxious. "This is, uh...the lab you'll be workin' in from here on out! She's a beauty, ain't she, eh?" He said, giving the child an awkward yet warm smile, hoping to warm him up. 

The small boy flinched, his eyes attempting to adjust to the light as he looked around the room, as he moved his spectacles up the bridge of his nose after they had fallen - truthfully still getting used to them.

He was terrified. 

Never in his life had he EVER been in such a place such as this! It was so...so strange! He hadn't even clue what the bloody hell he was also looking at half the time! What on earth WAS this?

Shaking his head and looking to the floor, before finally gaining the courage to meet his teacher - he stared at him in complete and UTTER shock. I...did he know this reaper from somewhere? A part of him felt, honest to God, that he did...?

 _'I...just...how is this happening? Nothing even feels real! God, I did I have to come back?! I never wanted this!'_ He thought, trying his best to fight back the tears. This wasn't fair. No, not at all. Why couldn't this end how _he_ wanted it? To be able to see his family again?

Noticing his trainee, he started to noticeably close his arms and other body languages, he began to sniffle...? Oh geez, Othello had worried that this would happen. A lot of reapers weren't exactly thrilled to be well, reapers. "Hey um, are you okay, b-bud...?" he asked, before rushing over to a table and grabbing a tissue box. 

Several seconds later, he was back to Aster's side and offered the child some, holding the box out to him, rubbing the back of his neck. "Here, take these...don't want any germs in the lab, heh..." Othello joked softly, silently hoping that he wouldn't upset the child further. 

"I...maybe...I guess...." He nodded, very truthfully impressed with it, despite how he was currently acting. "S...Sir...I...Othello, right? Haven't I seen you from somewhere....? Maybe even met you before..? And thank you..." The younger reaper nodded shakily, plucking a few from the box. 

He was sure he had. Hadn't he? He looked so familiar! Despite his current dilemma, Aster couldn't help but wonder as his teacher gave him a perplexed look. Didn't he recognize him from several weeks prior? With his older brother, and all that, or maybe even before that, when he took that one hair sample?

"You asked if we've met before? Well... truthfully, I'm not so sure about that..." He squinted his eyes, looking a bit closer at the boy. "You _do_ look a bit familiar... I'm not sure how, though..."

He took a few deep breathes, trying his best to not look like he was about to cry - but failing miserably. Tears pricked the child's eyes as he tried to calm down, but nothing seemed to be working. He was just so...so pitifully scared - no, terrified! 

The boy wanted his parents back. Ciel, too. - The real one, not the faux, the undead corpse, created by his delusional grandfather. He wanted his friends! - If...he could even call his 'friends,' friends...

"I'm pretty sure. Don't you remember me? You with...." He took a chance to take another breath. "G...Grelle Sutcliff...you were when Ciel came back! When my grandfather came back!" He told the reaper, tears finally starting to fall, his heart pounding like crazy.

Why on earth did he do this? Why did he have to be here? It hurt so badly. 

He had just wanted to sleep forever. 

This wasn't _fair._

_What part of life had ever been to fair, let alone to little Aster Phantomhive?_

Othello was in utter shock when he heard those words come out of his new trainees quivering mouth- it couldn't be _him_ , though. **_Would the Earl of Phantomhive really do that?_ ** _Take his own life?_ But those events... with the Silver Fox, Grelle, the twin- Ciel, was it? Right?... it didn't even happen that long ago...

"...Earl...? Is that really you!?" In pure disbelief, he asked, crossing his arms for a second as he thought, not knowing at all how to process this information. _"Well, it must be him. There's no explanation for it! That, or I must be dreaming..."_ Othello then slowly took Aster's glasses off his face, wanting to get a good look. Sure enough, it really was him- The Earl Ciel Phantomhive himself, or so everyone thought.

He fully saw that face that was previously full of pride and honor, now standing in front of him. _Disheveled. Tear stained. Red._ Othello shakily put Aster's glasses back on the boy's face, apologizing quietly soon after. 

"H-how could this have happened? What even _did_ happen to you?" The green-haired scientist was shocked, but also rather intrigued. The Earl of Phantomhive was standing in his lab, with a new pair of glasses and death scythe. Of course, Othello knew how he was born into the reaper realm... but... _why?_

Aster nodded slowly, tightly grasping the black fabric of his shorts out of habit, feeling like at any moment he'd collapse into a tiny ball and sob.

He had known what happened.

He knew what he did to himself.

But hearing someone ask...it just...the former Earl couldn't even begin to explain the feeling that he felt. Everything just ached so badly. All he wanted to be the comfort of his family's arms. He was so, so unbelievably tired.

The boy took a deep breath, readying himself for whatever he managed to get out about what he had done to get there. Already, his heart was pounding in fear. As if he had been running from something particularly frightening, like one of the many cases he and the demon were forced to partake in, throughout his career as The Watchdog. 

It took him a while, but when Aster started talking, he couldn't stop himself. And even if he wanted to, he wouldn't have, anyway. What more did he have to lose? "I...I just...I couldn't take it anymore if I'm honest..." The boy admitted, barely above a whisper. "It just hurt too much." The younger reaper told the scientist, starting to cry. Whether out of shame or hurt - it just ached. "I already wasn't wanted. I knew that much all too well. Even before my elder brother and I were taken, it was already apparent to me that he was always wanted more. Everyone wanted Ciel to come back, and I knew I couldn't handle on my own being myself anyway, so I came back as him."

More tears fell. 

"I never wanted to hurt anyone. I just wanted everyone to be happy...I was just going to simply get my revenge and die like I was supposed to, but _he_ ruined it!" Aster said, trembling harder and harder each passing second, tears welling up in his green-gold eyes even faster than he could process mentally what was happening. He hugged himself tightly, biting his bottom lip. "Un...Undertake just h-had to bloody bring the dead back! He already knew how hurt I was by seeing my parents in such a horrid state and then witnessing Ciel's death first h-hand, but he didn't care! I just want my big brother to sleep, that's all! He never deserved to come back as the monster Undertaker made him be!" 

Why him? Why them? 

What had had the Phantomhive's done to deserve such a seemingly never-ending tragedy? 

Sure, Aster had read about them when he was a lot younger, with his brother in the library many times. Tanaka had told them stories of their Grandmama's struggles, and their Papa's and Auntie's from even before they, Lizzy, or Edward were born! Or also before they married, as warnings. Papa had told them of his adventure's, despite their Mama's obvious disapproval. 

No matter what they did, his family was seemingly fated with horror. There was never, ever any exception to the rule. No one ever got out unscathed. Sure, maybe someone would be left alive to continue to tell their tale to their future generations, but it didn't mean they weren't scarred mentally if they weren't physically. 

Some got out the easy way. Only painful memories of those they'd lost from it. But even then, those scars, though not something you could see, they were there. Haunting you at night and woke you up at the earliest hours, forcing you to relive the most painful memories. 

Papa always told him he was lucky to be the youngest. Aster never knew what he meant until this very moment. If Ciel had lived on, he, the spare, would most likely get away from the horror. He could move far, far away, like his Mama's parents and never, ever come back. 

Sure, if someone died that he loved dearly, it would hurt. He'd feel the same burning agony that he did for everyone that he had seen die. But he'd be free of the curse of The Watchdog. 

If it wasn't for _'That Month,'_ Everything could have turned out relatively well. Sure, he'd always be in his big brother's shadow (some things would never change), but he'd be free. 

_Oh, how Aster Phantomhive loathed the name he carried._

"I was going to go back a-a-nd try...honest, I was! I...couldn't in the end, though. Sebastian never once helped. He always insulted me. Taunted me. Never once did he ever stop reminding me how pathetic I truly am. I just...I suppose I couldn't stand to disappoint anyone, anymore..." The little reaper admitted. "Everything hurt so badly. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop myself. I wouldn't dream of, anyway...All I could think about was how horribly, I hurt everyone and how much everyone hated me. I...I didn't...I couldn't...I couldn't be there anymore..." Aster said, whispering the last part as he stared at his shoes. "It never h-helped that I loved everyone, no matter how much I always denied my feelings, whether it be to myself, or other people, or how much I pushed them away...I loved Sebastian, too. As stupid as it is...He always reminded me so much of my father, and I couldn't help it...I hated disappointing him." 

As Aster finished up speaking, Othello stared, completely shocked. Appalled? He genuinely didn't know how to feel. Especially with all this information being thrown out at him in such a short time? By a sniveling child at that? _'I guess even folks like the high and mighty Earl of Phantomhive could crack under pressure...'_

It was intriguing, though. A part of Othello did feel bad for poor little Aster. He remembered when he first became a reaper, much like the blue boy in front of him. 

Trapped alone, with your thoughts and memories, with seemingly no hope, no light at all? No matter how hard you look to find it? 

**_It's awful._ **

It made sense, though. 

Who could honestly go through all that pressure and torment like that and not give up? _'He IS just a kid...I don't even know how he was able to survive so long with that demon, let alone as a different person...'_ Othello sighed softly. ' _Corporate really should think about putting the young ones in a daycare or something before they send them off to become full-fledged reapers or scientists, heh"_ , Othello joked sadly with himself. 

"H-Hey, all of us older reapers know how hard it is... to go through with _that_ \- Uh, corporate provides therapy services for issues like this, maybe you could try going to that?" The older reaper suggested, taking a second to awkwardly readjust his spectacles. 

Othello hated this part of the job. It _sucked._

"Heh, I know it might not be much, and I'm sorry I can't help you more, Ea- Uh..." The bushy-haired man paused, his eyes widened. _'Geez...well, I guess he isn't an Earl anymore...'_

Othello shook his head. "Um, Should I call you something different?" He asked the boy, cocking his head to the side. - The scientist never did get to learn the kid's real name...

"I...It's..." The boy took a deep breath, not knowing if he was genuinely ready to tell. He couldn't wait for long, though. And it wasn't like literally everyone else knew what it was, already. It was probably on a file somewhere - he still remembered the jolt of shock when the nurse that was there when he had woken up had called him by his real name. "It's Aster," The child told Othello humbly, before burying his face in his hands as he cried. 

He wanted to crawl under the nearest table and hide, curling up into the tiniest ball imaginable. He didn't want to be here! - All Aster wanted was to be with his family, and to be happy for once. FOR ONCE!

Why couldn't he?! Why was he always trapped in a perpetual Hell? Was this some kind of a cruel, sick joke? Was he born to be miserable?!

 _'God, why do I have to cry...? I look so stupid! Why couldn't I have held it in...? Just for today...? I've done so much crying in the past weeks that I'm practically numb in every sense of the bloody word...'_ He thought, trying his best to stop the onslaught of tears that seemed just to keep coming. 

"M-Maybe...I'd doubt they'd help me, though. What on earth do I even tell them? I'm so ashamed of myself, I-I doubt I could ever find the right words, let alone get them out..." He said softly, truthfully not wanting to talk about it at all. "I don't even want to think about it anymore..." 

Why couldn't he just have stayed, rotting on the floor? He much rather is doing that than anything he was going to have to here, for all eternity! 

Using a tissue, Aster shakily wiped away several tears, more falling after the fact. He shook his head, slightly irritated about just...well, he didn't know. He felt so...lost. He was tired. He wanted to go back to bed. His heart wouldn't stop pounding...Gosh, he felt a headache coming on, too. Wouldn't be surprised. He had been getting them quite a bit recently. 

He took several more breathes, finally managing to control his erratic breathing a little bit. It wasn't a lot, not at all, but he was thankful that it was at least _something_.

Othello gave Aster a sympathetic look. "Um...A-Aster, is that right?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "Heh, uh, now that you say it, I think...I actually do remember glancing at that name like a week or so ag in some paperwork..." The older reaper was a fantastic scientist, but his memory....? Not so much. 

He hadn't had many trainees before, so he wasn't exactly used to situations like these. In fact, Othello was still completely baffled by the fact he was now supposed to be training the fake Earl. 'Nevermind that, though - I need to find a way to calm him down...at least for a moment.' 

The scientist turned his head away from the upset boy and glanced around his lab for a moment. _'I_ _was gonna have to do this anyways, but it might help him relax for the time being.'_ Othello turned his head back towards Aster and gave him a small smile.

"M-maybe you'd like a tour around my lab? It'll be yours until you get your very own, and I think you'd like to know what Everything does and well, _is_ , around here, heh- Plus, it might help you feel maybe just a lil' bit calmer?" Othello sighed, then lifted his arm to rub the back of his neck.

His little student nodded, shakily wiping away what seemed like the last of his tears, after finally managing to control them after what felt like forever. "I suppose so." he agreed, awkwardly tucking a loose strand of his blue-grey hair that had fallen out of place, behind his ear.

Aster was awfully scared, but he could do it. Just take a few more breathes - he could handle it.

"I-I'm sorry about... Everything. I'm sure you can imagine, but I've been an absolute mess ever since I first woke up....here." He apologized, looking to his new, buckled boots. He held his hands behind his back, grasping them tightly, as a way to (hopefully) make himself a bit less nervous.

This was fine. He, Aster Phantomhive, was going to be okay. This was forensics, anyways! He wasn't reaping souls! That was better, wasn't it?

Othello gave Aster a soft look and chuckled- "Heh, yeah, I can imagine... being in that position for so long must've been awful!" He moved so he could stand next to the shaking young boy, turning his head back down, looking to him. "And hey, you don't need to be sorry. This _was_ mostly that Silver Fox's doin'."

Suddenly, the older man's mind wandered to his time when he had first become a reaper. And just how lonely...and oh, so, so, SO desperate he was to be happy. 

His eyes widened in realization, and then sharply shook his head. _'Nevermind that now...Focus, focus! - I need to be teachin' my new trainee, not bein' all hung up on some stupid shit...'_ But still. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't bloody fair.

**Being a reaper wasn't fair.**

"Let's start lookin' around the lab, shall we, eh?" Othello said in a more chipper tone, in an attempt to lighten the mood a bit, leading Aster around his unkept lab, showing him all the equipment and explaining the names and what their purposes were, with very detailed explanations. 

He began showing Aster evidence drying cabinets, a fuming chamber, serval different kinds of microscopes- even a substantially sized industrial freezer!

It might not be the neatest lab, but it sure had it all. There was even a fingerprint analysis station, and Othello's favorite, the DNA analysis station-

"...I just think the DNA of humans and many other species are just so _interesting-_ don't you think?..." In all honesty, it wasn't even about the lab tour anymore, the scientist was just excited to talk about his favorite subject.

After ~~Othello got carried away with himself~~ , the tour was over, he sat down in a squeaky black rolly chair. "Heh, sorry if I bored you, I get carried away easily when it comes to forensics!"

"No....no, I promise it's quite alright...." Aster assured him, truthfully, ever since the tour started, he had begun to feel quite a deal better. 

He knew he'd be lying if he said it wasn't unusual - because it definitely was! Just learning what Everything was, how it was used, and why, and the mentor's 'rambles' were just...They were absolutely fascinating! Never in his life had he ever seen equipment such as these....they were all so new to him!

The child looked around the lab, his (now) gold and green eyes filled with wonder and amazement, totally sucked into it! He and Sebastian had discussed this kind of stuff before..., and he had been in his grandfather's shop...as well as the lab back in Germany, and Sieglinde's lab back home...but nothing compared to _this!_

"I think so, too! It's the reason I wanted to do this! I've been in labs before, but never in ones such as this! How do you even remember how you do Everything?!" He asked, clearly shocked. "It's so....just!" - he didn't know how to put into words, but it was apparent just how enthralled he was!

His previously red-eyed, sobbing self was replaced entirely with that of the innocence of what he would have been if _'_ **That Month'** hadn't happened. - Bright-eyed, full of wonder, ready to start learning with a happy - no, ecstatic demeanor!

The genuinely shocked scientist was _thrilled!_ He hasn't had a trainee nearly as excited and intrigued as this one! Though he hadn't had a lot of trainees in the past, to begin with, still -

Othello was genuinely happy to hear someone, let alone someone as young as Aster, be as interested in forensics as he was. "R-really?! Honestly, I don't think I've ever had an apprentice truly be that excited to learn from me... or even about forensics-" The eager scientist exclaimed. "Heh, a lot of new reapers just take this job because they think it's an easy way out of w-working on the field..." Othello stated with a disappointing tone, scratching the back of his head. 

"Easy...? What part of forensics is....how does it even sound easy?" The child asked, cocking his head to the side.

"- But you're one of the first I've had that actually wants to learn! At least there's _some_ hope for kids these days...", He joked. "I-I'm genuinely happy you like the lab, and you're eager to start working! Speaking of working, I think you, uh, hold on for just a moment please-" He turned around and stepped over to his messy desk that had papers, pens, pencils- scattered everywhere on top of it. He pushed a bunch of the mess aside- "Ha! There it is..." And pulled out a folder underneath a stack of papers. It was a beige folder titled _'Students_ ,' written in black marker. Othello then pulled out a thin file, with a few pages with a mugshot of Aster on the first one.

_It was a copy of his official reaper record._

Aster turned, watching as Othello rushed to his desk, and open a record...? - His picture...? Oh, it must be his, huh? _Lovely._

The older reaper then flipped through a couple of pages, squinting at the small print. "Oh! Okay, okay..." He quietly mumbled to himself. He closed the file and looked over to Aster- "You start working the day after tomorrow! I _think_ tomorrow you'll be given a tour around the rest of the forensics department, the higher-ups want you to be at least acquainted with all the buildings before you start working in a lab." Othello stated as he walked back over to the young boy.

"Uhh...", He pulled up his sleeve to reveal his silver, Balenciaga branded watch and checked the time. "I think my time with you is up right about now," Othello said, truthfully a bit disappointed his time with his new apprentice was already over. He was actually excited he had one that really cared about forensics even if it was the infamous Earl Phantomhive-

"They said after I give you a tour of the lab I need to take you to your new dorm, I can answer any questions you have about your new job on the way there!", Othello told Aster, shoving his hands in his pockets as he rounded a table, and grabbed a few things. 

"Ah yes...hope for the other children that took their own lives, too," Aster said, dryly, after a while, knowing full well he was joking - out of nowhere - snapping back out of his childish wonder.

The boy froze in place, finally realizing what Othello was telling him, his heart just.. _.God,_ he wanted to curl up into a ball and die... _again._ Out of all the reapers, he had met so far, Othello had not only been the first one he had recognized, but also the first one he found himself to actually feel comfortable around.

He didn't want to leave him. This was way too soon! He knew he'd see him tomorrow, but that was way too long! Why did this have to end so soon? What was he going to do now?!

No, no, no, NO. 

He shook his head, his eyes widening in horror. His breathing quickened a bit. _'I can't....no....what do I do...? I can't leave him...not now! I...I don't know anyone else...He's the only one that hasn't been bloody fucking horrible to me...I can't....'_ He looked up to the reaper, gently clasping his hands together. "Alright." he nodded, barely above a whisper.

Othello noticed the boy tense up, took a few steps towards him, and leaned down in front of him. "H-hey, I understand why you're nervous... you've been through a lot these past few years, months especially, and being a new reaper is...hard, at best." He said awkwardly, trying his best to comfort the small boy.

 _'It's just so weird,'_ He thought, ' _Just about a month or so ago I was in the same room as The Earl, confronting the Silver Fox... seeing his twin... it feels so surreal he's in this lab- no, this_ **_realm_ ** _right now.'_

"...I might have just the thing for you-" Othello kneeled back up and walked back over to his desk again, but this time he grabbed the handle of the left drawer and opened it. Inside were several kinds of stim toys, ranging from small to big- short to long, all very colorful! He reached his hand inside and shuffled around a few of the toys until he pulled out a small, matte cube-shaped toy. It had several different fidgets on each side- the cube itself was black, but all of the buttons and spinnies were a light blue color.

Othello walked back over to Aster, fidget cube in the palm of his hand, and kneeled down right in front of him. "Here-" he reached his hand and opened it, revealing the cube to the nervous boy. "It's called a fidget cube, I u-use these type of things to help calm me down, maybe it'll help you as well? I know it's not much, but it'll help you keep your mind away from all the anxiety you're feeling." He calmly looked at Aster, awaiting his response.

The child stared at the toy before him, unsure of what to even think. He was scared. Honest-to-God _terrified_. What on earth would this do to relieve his anxiety? It was just a stupid toy!

He looked away, not knowing what to say. Was he bloody mocking him? No, _no!._ Why on earth would he do that to him? From what Aster gathered, Othello was _nothing_ like his classmates. 

It was okay. He'd be fine. Othello wouldn't make fun of him, would he? The smaller reaper sure _hoped_ so. 

"Maybe..." he mumbled, turning his attention to his pristinely-kept fingers, playing with them out of pure habit - something he always did, ever since Aster was really, really little....which he still did....which Sebastian ruthlessly made fun of him for. "It will...? H-How...?"

No, no. YOU WILL **NOT** CRY.

The reaper took a deep breath, nodding softly as he tried his best to stifle the flow of on-coming tears - gosh, he sure cried a lot now, didn't he? How embarrassing. Hardly fitting of a nobleman...- but...that didn't matter anymore, did it?

Othello gave Aster a gentle smile, "Well! Studies show that stimming actually increases dopamine levels in your brain, which makes you happier and generally lowers levels of anxiety! I've, uh, researched quite a lot about the topic, heh.", He remarked.

He moved his other hand towards Aster and grabbed one of his small, fragile hands, and gently placed the cube in his palm. "I hope it helps you, or at least you make good use of it.", He chuckled, kneeling back up and standing once again. 

"Maybe we should go now, I don't want any colleagues of mine or higher-ups complaining I kept you here too long-," Othello suggested, not wanting to get blamed for anything he didn't mean to do-

The lean man led Aster to the door that led out into the hallway, where he was previously shoved into by that rude receptionist- _Ugh,_ it almost killed Othello how badly he wanted to chew her out and put her in her place. _"Stacie better not scream at me for almost getting one of my students late to their room- what a stupid thing to be upset about anyways."_ He grunted softly to himself.

Othello then put his hand on the doorknob and promptly turned his head to Aster. "Ready?"

Aster nodded softly a little after, taking a look at the cube in his hand, seemingly studying it for a second before looking back up the man before him. Watching as Othello opened the door and asked if he was ready to go to his dorm.

Was he? Oh gosh, would he ever be?

The child nodded, shyly walking past Othello as he held open the door for the younger reaper to walk through, Aster quietly thanking him as he got out into the hallway and waiting for Othello to make his way out as well, his heart starting to race. 

They started the long walk back to the dorm room - passing the many, lengthy, snowy-white hallways, decorated with various colorful plants and cork boards, several other places for the forensics department, soon bleeding into rooms for the various other departments.

What felt like a million years later, they finally made it to the front desk (thankfully, the receptionist wasn't there) and out to the courtyard that connected all the buildings. 

As they walked, Aster couldn't help but feel more and more distressed, each passing minute....no, _second._ He didn't want to be separated from Othello. He didn't want to be all alone _again._

He didn't want to be away from him - he was the only one he had left at this point!

Aster didn't know what he thought when he did it, or how he had even found the courage in the first place.

As they walked, wordlessly, the child slipped his hand over Othello's grazing it slightly before gently grasping it - holding his hand as they walked.

Some how...he felt _safe_.

_'Jeez, these buildings are bigger than I remember-,'_ Othello thought, squinting, taking in all the sunlight from the outdoors, clearly evident that he hadn't been put in a while, he didn't come out of his own building much anymore since he really didn't have a reason to.

Just ahead of them was the building with all of the student dorms, Aster's dorm was on the highest floor to the right- ' _Highest floor to the right, highest floor to the right...'_ Othello repeated in his head to help him remember, again- great scientist, terrible memory. As he kept repeating it, though, suddenly something grabbed his hand-

Othello jumped a bit, _"Huh?!-"_ , then looked down towards his right- Why it was little Aster holding his hand! "U-uh, oh..."

He and Aster stopped in their tracks and stared at each other. Honestly, he didn't really know how to react. The older reaper looked back into Aster's yellowish-green eyes, his face a bright, - truthfully rather adorable - bubblegum pink from the embarrassment. Othello's face flushed up a bit too, he never expected anything like this to happen! But somehow he felt like...

He didn't mind.

"O-oh, are you nervous?" Othello questioned, gripping Aster's hand. He leaned his head down a tad bit towards the boy- "L-listen, it's o-okay if you are, I can understand all the trouble y-your mind must be going through," He said, reassuringly. "And i-if it's about me leaving you- don't worry! You'll see me again in a-a-a couple days." Othello gave Aster a warm smile, and still, grasping his hand.

The small teen nodded softly. Holding onto the older reaper's hand, the feeling in his heart was once a horrible, aching fear, now a content, quiet thankfulness as they walked together.

As they walked closer, Aster found himself squeezing Othello's hand, looking around the area.

God, it felt like an eternity since he first came here, despite it only being a measly month!

They made their way to the steps of the male student dorm, and Othello opened the door and led the tiny boy into the main area, before leading into a hallway, connecting into another, and then an elevator.

He was led inside where the older reaper punched in the numbers - Aster shyly watching him from a bit away, still truthfully quite wary of this kind of technology, and understandably so. He shouldn't even be alive for these kinds of inventions!

They waited, and before they knew it - they were on the right floor. The two walked down the long hallway, to Aster's dorm...the small teen dreading every single second, his little grip on Othello's hand getting tighter and tighter from the fear. - He didn't care if it was only going to be for a few days! A few days was a few days too many!

The further Othello and Aster walked down the hallway to the young boy's dorm, he felt the grip from Aster's small hand tighten more and more.

Once they finally got to the door of his room, the scientist felt the frightened boy get more closer behind him and tightening the grip on his hand.

 _'I feel bad for leaving him alone like this... but I guess it isn't really my fault- it's not like_ **_I_ ** _was the one who put this bloody building a million feet away from mine.'_ Othello thought, mockingly. He looked down at the new reaper. "Well, I hope you're ready!" said the older reaper, excitedly, hoping to boost Aster's spirits - even if it was just a LITTLE BIT. 

A little was better than nothing, right?

Othello then put his hand on the doorknob, slowly but surely turned it, and opened the door to Aster's new room.

He led the boy inside and closed the door behind them. While still holding hands, they both looked around the new room -

It was small, but not _too_ small. It was the perfect size for Aster, and there was even a good-sized window in the back of the room. The flooring was made out of cherry wood, the walls a pitch-black color. Next to the window on the left was a twin-sized bed with white sheets, and folded on top of it was a large, black polar fleece blanket.

On the other side of the room was a closet with two black sliding doors- inside the cabinet was a bar to hang clothes on and a shelf over it. To the right of the closet was a painted black, wooden desk with two slider drawers, one on each side, and on the bottom of the drawers were a couple filing cabinets and on each side. - And basically, mostly - pretty Everything was black.

 _'Guess that's just the 'grim reaper aesthetic,' eh?'_ Othello sighed. "S-so, what do you think of it?" the older reaper asked with a gentle tone.

The small teen looked around, a shaky sigh escaping his lips. It was okay at best - obviously not really his preference. Did reapers only like bland, boring things? He swore to Heaven on high, black, and white were the only colors they liked! The single reaper he had ever seen break this was _Grelle!_

The amount of black was frankly...depressing Aster more than he already was. Was this much really necessary? The white, too! It felt like a cell for Heaven's sake!

Nevertheless, it didn't matter. What _actually_ mattered to Aster, you might ask? Having to leave the older reaper! Despite how /pathetic/ the dorm was, he didn't care! He just wanted to stay with Othello!

The child squeezed Othello's hand even tighter than before, standing in such a way that he was practically hiding behind the older male, clearly frightened. "No..." he said, barely above a whisper, struggling to fight back the urge to wrap around his arms around Othello's waist, and never, ever let go, like some snot-nosed toddler he was _sure_ he resembled by now. 

The older reaper was surprised to find the sweet, young Aster now practically behind him! "What was that, Aster?" asked Othello, in a gentle tone. He felt the young boy bury half of his flushed face into the older man's arm, and all he could hear were soft whimpers from the terrified child.

He turned his head around and looked down at the younger reaper. "I-it's okay to be upset right now- I'm sure once you actually move in you'll get more comfortable with your surroundings!", He tried to reassure the boy- "Maybe a higher-up will even let you paint your walls to whatever color you'd like them to be~," Othello suggested, hoping it would cheer him up.

After mentioning that idea, Othello just stared at the young reaper for a good few seconds, and a small frown formed upon his face. The child was buried deep in his arm, not moving an inch- or had even said anything other than a quiet _'No...'._

Just holding on tightly to Othello, silently begging the older, green-eyed reaper to not leave his side. ' _Maybe I could try to... I don't know... hug him? Would that make him feel better?'_ the awkward reaper questioned himself.

 _"Would it be weird? I don't want to upset him more than he already is...He's my student...but he's just a kid still, to be quite honest."_ , Othello thought, wondering what on earth he could possibly do...

Before he could even think about it any further- the older reaper was steadily letting go of Aster's small hand, which startled him, and gently got on one knee. Othello then wrapped his arms around Aster, standing and pulling him into a warm hug. He squeezed a bit tighter after a second and whispered, "You'll get used to the change."

**_I promise._ **

He felt himself go numb - and then all at once, it was like there was a million, tiny butterflies in his stomach.

The younger reaper couldn't believe it. Was this even real? Was his teacher, the man that he now suddenly trusted a great deal...Hugging him?

Usually, Aster would have gotten angry. _Beyond_ angry. Absolutely _fuming_ from such a gesture, but now? The blue-haired boy looked to him, tears welling up in his eyes once again, making him feel rather stupid. How many times had he cried like a baby today? 

Before Othello, the child cried, unable to keep it in any longer, no matter how desperately he didn't. Beautiful tears, almost like icy diamonds, gently rolled down his chuberic cheeks. His gold-green eyes shimmered like a silvery, sheeny satin, making him look even younger than he already was - almost at that moment, the very epitome of childhood innocence.

His big doe eyes looked to the older reaper, his thick eyelashes fluttering lazily as he blinked, trying to figure out how he felt. How was he even supposed to feel?

The button-nosed teenager nodded gently, unable to resist much longer. He hugged back, tighter than he ever had in the last four years to any type of affection. For how long he held onto Othello, he had no clue. _All knew is that he felt safe in his arms._

The little reaper fell to his knees, wrapping his arms around Othello's neck as he buried his face in his nape, sobbing softly as he nuzzled closer, nowhere ready to part, not even in the slightest. 

At that moment, all he wanted was to stay with him at that very moment, forever. _"D....don't leave me, Papa...I don't want you to go...."_ he begged, almost unknowingly, barely above a little whisper as he closed his eyes, carefully resting his head on Othello's shoulder, continuing to snuggle up to him, content in his grasp.

**"I'm too scared."**

The admittance hung in the air like a thick fog, having led Aster's lips as something utterly foreign to him. Never in the four years that he had been parted from his family had he ever divulge that he was frightened. His pride had always gotten in the way of ever confessing to something has hopelessly childish as that...something as dangerous as that. 

But here he was, a complete and utter blubbering mess, making a fool out of himself in front of a man he barely knew and didn't even know he could trust. Their first-ever interaction had been only a month before the older reaper had plucked a hair from his head and twittered around him like an idiot for a good fifty seconds. 

The boy could never bring himself to tell anyone about anything that had happened to him. Just the thought of it always terrified him to no end - with that information, anyone could hurt him. Destroy him, even. 

But here he was, spilling all his fears and insecurities to a man he barely knew, and who probably didn't even care. 

Aster didn't care, though, either if it meant anything. For once, he somehow felt accepted. For once, he somehow felt like someone cared about him. It had been way, way too long. 

He couldn't keep it in anymore. 

The younger reaper always knew the day would come when he'd finally snap and let it all out, but it was just a matter of when, and to whom? 

Wait. 

_Did he just call Othello-_

Othello held Aster close, clearly surprised. He honestly thought it would just be a small, gentle hug, where Aster would hug him back, and it would be over. Othello would say his goodbyes and then leave the dorm room- That's how the reaper pictured it happening. ' _H-huh, I guess he really needed this...'_

He felt Aster's wet tears build upon the nape of his neck and almost feel his own heartache as he heard the loud sobs from the young teen.

Othello just looked at poor Aster as he clawed the older reaper's back, just begging and _begging_ his new mentor not to leave his side. Othello soon even began to worry someone outside of the room could hear the distraught boy practically screaming...

It was when the taller man almost began letting go of the boy that he heard him call him something- something he couldn't even begin to think of _why_ he would call his mentor it.

_"P...Papa...?"_ , Othello pondered- _"What- am I already like his own father? Does he miss his own parents that badly...?"_ , He gave it some more thought... and that might actually be it- the reason why Aster already felt so close to him.

The poor boy hasn't really had a real "caregiver" in years! Unless he thought of that demon as one- in that case, he _really_ had a depressing life. But it made why Aster was acting like this make more sense- of course, he'd get attached to any new figure!

Othello decided he wouldn't mention what the boy called him, he had been through plenty enough ache and embarrassment today as it was...

"Hey... shhh... you'll be okay!" Othello said in a lighter tone, lifting his own head up. He unwrapped his arms from Aster's body and put his hands on the boy's small shoulders- "Trust me, every new reaper goes through this-" the older, green-eyed reaper tried to reassure the younger, scared reaper. "And if you truly wanna see me anytime before your first day, you can always request it!" said Othello, hoping it would...somehow brighten the kid's day a bit more. 

Othello wished he could do more...honest to God, he did. The older reaper really, HONESTLY did. But what on earth could he? The higher-ups (not to mention particular receptionists) would go mad if he stayed behind. 

They all had schedules, and they had to stick to them - it didn't matter if another reaper was going through a season in their life, and you wanted to help. They had therapy thanks to Corporate - pretty _shitty_ therapy thanks to Corporate if you asked him. And supposedly, that was supposed to be enough. 

Aster nodded softly, tears streaming like streams down his face as he listened to his new mentor. Somehow, even despite all the crying, Aster still managed to look beautiful? Rather than an ugly, red-eyed, puffy mess, he looked like a little boy crying longingly, just as if he were from a highly-detailed portrait that jumped off the canvas!

"You m....mean it...?" he asked shakily, gently taking hold of his glasses and lifting them up a bit, to wipe a few of his tears away - it was practically no help at all. He just couldn't stop, no matter how hard he tried!

He could see Oth...no.... **_his Papa,_ ** sooner? He'd like that.

His...Papa...?

His Papa? How old was he again? How on earth was he even thinking like this?! 

Sniffling quietly, his sobs finally starting to die down - now just soft crying. "I don't want to be a...alone...everyone is so harsh to me, and you're the only one t...that's b....been...." Aster choked back yet another sob, shaking like a leaf. "I....I'm so scared..."

How was he admitting this? How on EARTH? Last month, he'd never even DARE. How was Othello any different from any other adult he knew?

Well, for one, he wasn't Sebastian, he supposed. Not to mention that Othello actually gave a damn about him, and not just about his horrible, blasted twin brother. 

He took a breath, trying to collect himself. All he wanted was to stay with him, even if it was just a few, measly minutes longer.

"I....I...d-don't want to be without you..." he told him, feeling even more pathetic than before. Carefully grabbing Othello's hands that had been on his shoulders, he took them off, and slipped his little fingers in between his larger ones, squeezing them tightly.

How wretched did the 'higher-ups' have to be? Why did it have to be like this...? Why weren't you allowed to be with who you wished, without having to request?

"Papa, I don't wanna leave you..."

The older reaper continued to listen carefully to the frightened child- wishing more and more that there was a way he could help the poor, younger reaper. But alas, it wasn't like he could just spend the night with Aster in his dorm room! Higher-ups and coworkers would almost immediately find out... "Yes! Of course, I'm sure they'll most certainly let you come by-" He gave Aster a small smile. "I can't think of a reason as to why they would say n-no!" Othello exclaimed softly.

"And I really am sorry about this, I wish I could stay longer here to comfort you! But higher-ups wouldn't allow that... they're pretty strict about stuff like that, heh." He said, knowing it wouldn't necessarily help the poor boy. 'J _eez... he really doesn't want to leave me... I feel horrible...'_ the young-looking reaper sadly thought. Honest to GodGod, he wished he could stay with Aster! The older scientist certainly knew just how hard it was to do this all on your own...

Othello kindly let Aster take hold of the older reapers' hands, then gently held the young boys smaller hands back, making it even _harder_ for the scientist to leave.

"Oh, Aster, again, if I could stay here longer, I would... but I h-have to get back to my lab soon." He didn't like disappointing the young teen, but it's not like he had a choice...

Othello promptly let go of the boy's hands and gave him another small hug. He then slowly stood up- "I promise, if you want to see me, you're totally welcome to come by!",And turned to the door, twisting the silver knob to open it.

It hurt _a lot_ \- and not just a lot. It was practically excruciating. At that moment, he almost guaranteed that he'd be spending the rest of the night in his dorm, tucked into a tiny ball, near his bed, and crying himself to sleep - just as he had all the other nights, but considerably far _worse_.

The boy nodded, wiping away his tears, more falling in their place almost immediately. If he had it _his way_ , he'd undoubtedly grab onto the oldest scientist and never let him go, as stupid and childish as it was! 

He supposed he'd ask the high ups, though. As much as he _already_ hated them. He has talked to them earlier, about the bullying he had received from his fellow classmates, and other reapers, only to get a little _'Awww! We're so sorry!'_ and a pat on the back before sending him out, despite how obvious it was how severely affected he was by such harsh words and cruel treatment.

"O-Ok..." Aster mumbled quietly, looking to his pristinely-kept hands in well....he didn't know how he felt, but he was just....hurting.

He then turned to the scientist one last time and gave him the biggest littlest hug he had in a long, long time (get it, because he's SMALL?? HAHA) and smiled sadly, thanking him. "'l'll miss you." He whispered softly as he pulled away.

As Othello was about to walk out of the small, wooden-floored dorm room, with his hand on the doorknob, he felt Aster behind him give the older scientist a little hug- he tilted his head down at the smaller reaper.

"Aw, Aster...", Othello chuckled a bit- "Heh, I'll miss you too! I promise you'll see me soon!" He tried reassuring the boy. He looked up again, and as Aster let him go once more, the older man opened the door and stepped outside of the dreary room. Othello turned around while outside the room- "S-see ya on your first day!" he said, giving his final goodbyes, and slowly shut the white door as he left Aster's room. 

As he walked down the white, decorated hallway, he felt... bad about leaving the poor boy behind... he might've been a previous earl, but even earls go through traumatic, terrifying events that screw them up for the rest of eternity.

 _'Eternity, huh?'_ Othello realized that sad-eyed, young boy would be in this death realm for practically forever. 'I _t really is a tragedy, I suppose.',_ he thought. But honestly, he already knew that. Having to be stuck in this realm really was just that.

**_A sad, sad tragedy._ **

_"Heh, I wonder what the future holds for him here..."_

* * *

Aster retreated to his new bed, noticing the pair of keys lying, most likely left there by someone who had been getting it ready for him earlier. He felt terrified, and he felt numb beyond belief. 

But...he felt cared for.

He felt...well, he didn't know. Apart of him wanted to be ashamed, but the other part didn't care in the slightest. Deep in his heart, to him, he didn't know why, but every time he thought of Othello, he thought of 'Papa.' 

_Was that how he truly saw him?_

It had happened so, so fast....but...it felt so _right._

He'd have to wait until tomorrow, but he would see Othello - no, his **_Papa,_ ** again. It would all be okay. For once, hopefully. 


End file.
